Bookish Ramblings · Discussions

Slow Burning Vs Insta-love

Foto slow burning

I’ve said so before and I’ll do it again I’m a sucker for a good romance story, and when we are talking about romance is unavoidable to discuss what really makes up a good story. One of the key points in my opinion, it’s how a relationship develops. To me as a reader is much more enjoyable to see a couple grow, to go from point A to B progressively, instead of an out of the blue I’ll die without you kind of love.

In this little rambling of mine I want to talk about Insta- love and Slow Burning, these are two very common subjects for those of us who enjoy a little romance mixed in our books.

Insta- Love

When we talked about Insta-Love we are referring to that type of relationship that starts just by making eye contact, It’s like I just saw you and, Bam! I can’t live without you. It doesn’t matter what genre you read it’s quite common to find some example of this everywhere from Fantasy to Paranormal to Contemporary.


I´ve come across a couple of different types of Insta- love in books and to be honest It really isn’t my cup of tea, because I find it incredibly unrealistic and false (in some cases it’s so over the top that it ends up being a bit ridiculous). Who really falls in love in a second? That first look and the chemistry that might follow is just the start of something nothing more. But I do get, that’s it a romantic notion so I put up with it to some extent which leads me to those Insta-Lovey tropes that I can tolerate. For instance:

  • The Mating Bond

Quite common in some Fantasy, Paranormal and Urban Fantasy books. What it means it’s that due to some Magic/Fate You have one person out there that it’s the only one for you, no other will do. In this case I have found a few books that I didn’t hate too much even with this premise because the relationship was at least biologically justified. I mean Vampires that needed one type of blood or Were creatures that are guided by instinct.

AlphaInstinct_FINAL    Kiss of Midnight

  • The Dark Meet

I’m putting under here all those Dark themes books that begin a relationship with traumatic events, (kidnappings, Criminal environments, Drugs) because we can argue about mental state in this cases and justify this type of “I can’t breathe without you” feelings that might develop quite fast. It’s not healthy, we know that, but sometimes we loved them anyway because it certainly make up an interesting and quite angsty story.

undeniable  Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000035_00037]  real.jpg

These are two examples of Insta-love that I can swallow in my books (It’s not something I look for but if it’s there I won’t put down the book because of it)

Slow Burning Romance

My favorite kind of trope (if I can call it that). When we talk about slow burning it means those relationship that develop over time, it might take just a whole book or maybe a couple of them in a series for the main couple to get together.It can also be found in every genre (fantasy, contemporary, paranormal) It might start as an enemies to lovers, friends to lovers or merely strangers but we get to see the characters getting to know each other, finding common ground, developing a friendship or just accepting an underlining attraction.

25056040  some girls bite.jpg  hotshot

These are exactly the ones I love reading about, although I must say that I don’t like it when it gets extremely dragged out ( I don’t want to wait 6 books for a couple to get together)



In my case, my favorite it’s the slow burning enemies to lovers because of all the explosive chemistry and angst that they usually have (when they are done right) but that involves a few other things that I’ll discuss in a later post.

What are your favorites? Do you like Inst-love stories or are you like me and love the slow burning romances? Let me know in the comments

As Always

Happy Reading




9 thoughts on “Slow Burning Vs Insta-love

  1. Ugh, I really don’t like insta-love. I never, ever believe it and it annoys me the entire time I’m reading a book if the main characters fell into insta-love. I just don’t care about their romance because I don’t believe it. Especially when they’re going through something traumatic and they’re just thinking about touching each other’s hair and stuff. Like, OH PLEASE.

    So obviously, I love slow burning romances. My favorite that I’ve found is in “Walk on Earth a Stranger” by Rae Carson. It’s so good!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve never read any Rae Carson’s books, I’ll check them out… and you are right, I sometimes don’t get too annoyed but find it a bit ridiculous when the characters are in deep trouble and they just want to jump each other’s bones all the time…Priorities people…😄

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I also LOVE romance and so I always come across one of these two tropes. This is a bit of an unpopular opinion but I don’t hate insta-love. I don’t love it either but If it takes place in a paranormal of fantasy setting I’m more inclined to brush it off because it usually takes place because of some sort of mating bond like you mentioned. Sometimes insta-love can be done really well and that’s great!
    Of the two I do love slow burn romance (over the course on one book not 4) and enemies to lovers is my favorite!
    Great Discussion!! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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