Bookish Ramblings · Discussions

Fade to Black, Steammy or Cringe Worthy?? — Let’s talk about sex (in Books)

Foto 30-10-18 9 27 57 a.m.

Hey guys! I have a controversial topic for our discussion today — I’m talking about SEX… I’m sorry but I just got a flashback for that Salt-and-Pepa song and can’t get it out of my head now… I hate when that happens…

But let’s get back on track here, I’m a romance reader and obviously a lot of the content in most of the books I read it’s related to sex (And no, I’m not just reading Erotica — no shaming allowed here, okay?)


But it has always intrigued me how different people relate to sexual content, in some cases it’s consider worse having an explicit sex scene than when you have a graphic and gory depiction of violence… and that makes me bonkers…

I do understand the need to have age appropriate content (even if in reality our kids probably know more about sex than we do) but it needs to be considered that we don’t want our 8-year-old reading smut — I agree and understand that.. But it shouldn’t be always used as an excuse to attack books because they do incorporate sex in them — Shouldn’t it be the parents job to monitor what their kids are reading?? I wonder….

But let’s get back to talking about those times when we are all age approved, sort of speak, and we still judge a book because it has either too little or too much sex in it..

Yep believe it or not people do complain (not often) when a book doesn’t have a few sex scenes in it .. it’s a rare occurence but I’ve seen it…

I know that some of the scenes are ridiculous to read and therefore get mocked, a lot, .. I find most historicals (old ones specially) hilarious with all the euphemisms for the different body parts.. there’s no lack of flowery parts there let me tell you (petals, steams, bushes, you name it)… But even if that’s the case, they manage to work (oddly enough) with the atmosphere of the book (in most cases) So I don’t have a problem with them.. At the very least they give a good laugh..


I don’t judge either if an author feels the need to use the fade to black resource because he/she just doesn’t want the headache of having to write an actual sex scene… because guys it isn’t easy, finding the perfect balance between emotion and physicality and having it translate into the page it’s a complicated thing… Have you ever tried it? I think people should do that before jumping on the critiquing wagon…

Which is probably why It upsets me so much when I have the misfortune of coming across some narrow-minded comments about “this book is just porn..or whatever”


It’s not that, at all…Just because a book have sex scenes it isn’t porn..  I know that there are books out there like that (it’s called Erotica and even some of those are great and its readers deserve respect so what if you are in the mood for just the romp and not the angst?? there’s nothing wrong with that) We like what we like whether it’s little to no sex, or just the good old wow bow chicca wow wow..

I’m sure that by now you guys know that I don’t have an issue with sex in my books, even the flowery, cringe worthy kind or the hardly there variety… as long as it  fits with the story, adding to the relationship, or giving us the completion we look for…

But I’m curious to know where your thoughts are… Are you bothered by the sex scenes in your books?? Do they make you laugh or recoil in disgust? Let me know in the comments below and let the discussion begin…

As Always

Happy Reading


13 thoughts on “Fade to Black, Steammy or Cringe Worthy?? — Let’s talk about sex (in Books)

  1. I’m fine with anything from fade to black to harder erotica and everything in between. While I do for the most part prefer sex scenes written by women (no breasting boobily down the hall, thankyouverymuch!), I’m not a fan of heavy-on-the euphemism sex scenes (ie, referring to a woman’s vagina as her love cave), or the more flowerier language. But really, if it fits with the story, bring it on!

    And ZERO shaming, ever. I was once invited to an online book group, and when I joined, the owner’s first post was about a romance novel she read, and she was angry about the sex scenes. Her exact words were, “Why do authors think we want to read this smut???” Yikes, author AND reader shaming? Not cool, and I left.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I love a good sex scene. I will read anything from Fade to Black to erotica. I don’t particularly care for the euphemisms because that makes it cringy to me but other than that I have no issues.


  3. I like my books the smuttier the better! Although I do think that in some cases it’s unexpected and I understand why people take issue with a sex scene if they weren’t looking for one. And while I understand how difficult it can be to write a good sex scene, some really have me cringing! But I’m picky with everything I read, characters, plot, pacing, so why should I make an exception for my smut?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. After living a whole lifetime of hiding my Rom-Com delight. I’m so embarrassed to share I had no idea what ‘fade to black’ even meant!

    After reading your blog and some of the comments, I get what it is now, and I have read both fade to black and whatever the opposite of that is, within my beloved the Romance genre.

    My thoughts?

    I think ‘fade to black’ has to work harder from a writing perspective. The conflict and tension (sexual tension) needs to be supreme to satisfy the reader (and the heroine I guess tee hee!).

    Where as the other, has a real release. And I can only imagine that requires pure writing skill to create.

    I enjoy both, I mean well written fade to blacks are probably my fav, because I naively, have never even attempted to write a sex scene, let alone an erotic one (Is there even a difference between those too?).

    Even though I think I could.., from experience… mental note, I need to try that sometime, right now, I don’t intend to include explicit sex scenes in my first manuscript. I have no idea if that’s a good idea or not, but maybe because I keep imagining my story, one day being picked up by Renee and the Hello Sunshine crew, I have this urge to keep it R13.


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